


I thought I knew what the world was (but that was before I met you)

by JuniorWoofles



Series: Femslash February [8]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/F, Femslash February, Loss of Virginity, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 22:13:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9789347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuniorWoofles/pseuds/JuniorWoofles
Summary: On Jakku the heat had been unbearable and stifling and all Rey ever knew was its unwelcome and deathly embrace. She never thought heat could be anything other than that. Then she left Jakku and found something different that changed the definition of the word that had hunted her.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm warning you now that the sexual content is very glossed over and not in any depth or detail.

Rey thought she was used to heat. The deserts of Jakku had not been forgiving and she had suffered for years under the blazing sun. From a young age she had to teach herself how to adapt to the long scorching days and the even longer cold nights. It was a hostile heat that burned everything, frazzled in under its sweeping ray. Rey thought she knew what heat was.

She thought heat was unforgiving and overwhelming. She thought it was the weapon of the sky, the planet’s defence against its own inhabitants. She thought heat was the only there to dry up the moisture in the air until you were parched and left with nothing but a throat full of dust. She thought it was cruel and vicious, taking and taking and taking. She thought of the unbearable enemy that she could never defeat but that she could not allow herself to be defeated by. It was hostile and not something she wanted to associate with if given the chance.

She thought heat could only ever be evil. She never knew that heat could be as warm and loving as she found the right type of heat to be when met the Resistance; when she met Jess.

She met Jessika in the cool air, with the breeze of D’Qar wrapped around them both. Unlike the thick air of Jakku it was not suffocating but pleasant and she leaned into it.

When Jess smiled at her it was the fiercest sunray she had ever felt and she melted under the gaze. Everything was slow and foggy, as she knew heat to be. Yet the cool breeze continued to wrap her in its airy touch and the sun was hidden by clouds high in the sky.

This was not Jakku. It was not hostile. It was warm and welcoming, green fields and blue lakes under a blue-gray dome. It was hugs that ought to come from a mother, a jacket passed on from strangers and returned to friends, of a place where she belonged. It was Jessika’s smile, happy and honest, inviting her to stay when she knew she had to leave. It was a pull to stay and make a home that was cosy instead of just convenient. It was a hug that she didn’t want to step out of. It was a warmth spreading from her heart. Something that was warm instead of hot and she wanted to lean into it with all she had. This was something new. This was something she wasn’t used to and she knew that she wanted to be used it. She wanted to find out what that was like. She wanted to stay and find out what warmth meant but she couldn’t. So she stepped out of warm hugs that made her heart do the weird melting thing in her chest and she backed up all the way into the Falcon. She flew away from something she didn’t know or understand with promises to return soon drowned out by the roar of the engines as she lifted up and lifted off. 

Acht To had cool winds as well. They came from the sea and dance and sprang up steps carved into the mountainside. They climbed with her as she went up them. She was burned by the sun of Jakku but the cold air was soothing like a balm and bandaged up the pain she knew that the sun had left on her heart.

Acht To was refreshing like the first water cleaning a dust rough throat. It was the needed hydration when it seemed like the desert may win. But refreshments are only temporary and she knew that she had to continue on her journey. The heat could not stop her now. Now she wasn’t just running from the hostile heat that was chasing her away. Now she was also running towards the warmth that beckoned to her. The warmth that lit up her inside in a way not dissimilar to the Force.

She took her refreshment, took her break. She wanted to keep going but to do so she had to sit for a minute and breathe. Take in all that she knew and all that she could feel. Just sit and feel the Force, feel the way it soothed like a cool breeze and wrapped around her like a warm hug. She took the minute to figure out the journey past and the best route ahead. She wasn’t running from an enemy she couldn’t escape. Not right now. 

The cool air sang to her as she breathed with the Force. In and out. In and out. It was a constant, what the Force became so quickly in her life. It expelled the heat that had long since pervaded her life and filled all of those hot pipes with a natural coolness that seeped through her causing her to relax. In and out. In and out. Out with the suffocating heat, and in with the cool breeze. In and out.

It was time to go back to the warmth that would hopefully still welcome her with cosy hugs and smiles that made her heart melt. It was time to go back to the unknown, the unfamiliar and find out for herself if there was a good kind of heat.

They left the cool ocean breezes of Acht To, boarded a ship both familiar and not quite at the same time. They left the cool sanctuary and went back to the waiting heat of D’Qar.

Rey knew that heat could come from a person. She knew that a concentrated gaze was enough to make emotions boil back to the surface before they erupted out. She knew that heat could come from the gaze of anyone: be it family, friend or foe. She had never seen it this ferocious until she took the brother back to the sister.

Yet she had never seen the gaze softened into warmth so quickly and so honestly either until she saw the way Leia greeted Luke. Never still had she seen someone hold so steady against a gaze of such heat. He kept contact for as long as he could, not melting even though he must have been getting burned. She knew of heat, but not like this. Here they were teaching her different meanings of heat.

Leia taught her that a steely gaze was an essential part of power but having a mother’s hug was worth letting all of the heat go.

Luke taught her that the heat inside her needed to be cooled down and balanced out if it was ever to be effective. He taught her that learning to move past the desert heat was the first step of escaping the heat that suffocated a child longing for freedom.

Chewbacca taught her that heat was hugs that were almost too powerful and tight to be comfortable. Heat could be both cloying and a comfort at the same time.

Poe taught her that heat was friendly fire and the roar of engines that could be tamed if you only knew how to. He taught her that playing with fire was exhilarating so long as you were careful not to let yourself or others get burned. He taught her that playing with the heat could be just as important as respecting it. 

Finn taught her heat can be just as suffocating as the helmet of a clone but learning to master it was the freest feeling you could find. He taught her that it was okay to be scared if being burned so long as once you did you learned to stand up and get better and be better for it.

It was Jessika that taught her that heat was one letter away from the most important organ it controlled. Jess taught her how to use it, abuse it, make it her own or let it break her. Jess taught her how to let the volcano inside bubble up and out of the warmth spreading through her and how to chase that explosion. Jess was the one who told her to give in to the heat where Master Luke would have told her to ignore it and learn to douse it with waters instead. Jess was the one who stirred up the heat inside her and made her feel like every vein was on fire. Jess was the one who held her over the flames and let them consume her. Jess was the one to press burning touches to Rey’s skin and follow it with cool kisses. Jess fuelled the heat and let it consume them both over, and over and over.

Master Luke taught her how to breathe with the Force. In an out. Dispel the heat. Let in the cool breeze. Let it seep in through her nostrils and chase her blood from her brain down to her toes. Let it consume her until it was her. Until she was one with the Force and everything was cool breezes and air swirling up from the ocean. To favour the calm over the fires crawling around her heart.

Then Jess came back in. She would swoop back in with Poe chasing the heat of her tails. Running into base, pounding her feet against the ground as she ran. Thump. Thump. Thump. Letting the heat fuel her heart, her engine as she ran, ran, ran back to Rey. She’d meet her with a smile that was guaranteed to make the flames come out of their slumber and lap at Rey’s heart again. Her heat was warmth and squirming under intense gazes and searing hot kisses where the fires would erupt from every touch.

She’d run to Rey, rushing to get to her so fast that the ground would burn away with each step. When Rey looked up and saw her she immediately pushed away all thoughts of calm and balance out of her mind. She’d run right to her and hold the jut of her hips through her flight suit as Jess lit the fire from where their mouths met. She’d let the heat crawl all over and ignite every little nerve as Jess licked into her mouth, claiming the oxygen needed to sustain their fire. Rey would melt into it, the fire already weaving its magic to make her a pliable thing.

Rey had been taught to be strong when the heat seemed to be too much so she took whatever was left of her decisions and attacked back, fighting fire with fire and pouring all of the heat she could muster right back into it. 

Jess would lead her back to warm bunks and stifling covers and teach her about the heat of being close to someone. She would show her fiery kisses up and down her body, warm fingers pressed into her heat and chase the explosion that was every good kind of heat imaginable coursing through her veins and lighting them all up. She’d lap her tongue over the burning touches and press sweet kisses to damp hair after. It was warm and affectionate and cosy. It was so nice and Rey wanted to do nothing more than just melt into every touch, every kiss and every embrace. 

Years of living on Jakku had tried to teach her that heat was her enemy; something that only wanted to dry her up and burn her, blistering her skin if she couldn’t hide. Escaping Jakku let her find out that heat could be a wonderful burning that starts inside and makes you feel alive instead of dead. That it was symbolic of love instead of hate. That heat was something she never wanted to live without, not now that she had a new meaning for the word that showed her possibilities she could never have dreamed of. 

The blankets they were curled up under together may have been clammy and not exactly suited for two people but although the sweat was cooling on her body and causing her to stick to both Jess and the blanket it may have been uncomfortable but there was a delicious warmth about being so open and loving with another person that made her heart sing as she fell asleep in the arms of her pilot with a smile on her face. 

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise for the overuse and repetition of metaphors. I know it's something I need to work on. If there's anything else I need to work on leave me a comment to let me know and I will try and rectify my mistakes in future writings. 
> 
> I'm looking for a beta for a big Star Wars writing project. If anyone's interested my tumblr is cas-impala-pie or my email is on my profile. Thanks


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